Reclaiming November
And just like that, October is over. Despite our love for autumn in general and October specifically, 11:59 p.m. on Halloween night marks the end of commercial/cultural Fall. Forget about the fact that the calendar won’t acknowledge winter until mid-December. Disregard the reality that depending on where you live the weather may be far from frightful (downright pleasant perhaps). No, the calendar has once again been obfuscated by the powers that be. Sigh.
Let’s not go down this rabbit hole again. At this point lamenting about Thanksgiving being overshadowed by Christmas and “holiday creep” seems cliché. Honestly, we’re living in dark, stressful, toxic times. If it brings someone joy to put their Christmas tree up early, all the best. Frankly, we might all feel better if we traded Twitter for tinsel or election coverage for eggnog.
We were surprised with a little Halloween snow this year. But, the snow was short lived and it still feels like Fall around here.
No, I’m not here to knock the early holiday crowd. Instead, I’m here to argue that even those of us who prioritize Advent and actively work to maintain a sense of peace this time of year need the next few weeks to prepare. We need to reclaim November. Why? I’m glad you asked:
What stands between us and New Year’s Eve is nothing short of a highly coordinated effort to ratchet up anxiety to the highest level possible for everyone, but moms in particular. If we aren’t actively and consciously pushing back against unrealistic expectations and unnecessary stressors, we’re setting ourselves up for failure.
I’m a little over twelve years into this parenting gig and I’ve had just enough experience to look back over Christmas’ past and see how things have changed. I’m sure the holiday season has always been complicated. I just finished reading Little House in the Big Woods to my five-year-old and I’m sure even Ma Ingalls found the visiting cousins stressful.
However, holiday stress seems to be escalating. It’s easy to blame social media and Pinterest in particular for promoting unattainable and often completely unnecessary Christmas expectations. But, we shoulder some of the blame too.
There are perennial worries (finances, travel, family dynamics). And then there are stressors that our completely out of our hands (company party on the same night as the choir concert). But, there are also completely made up concerns, that we’ve apparently signed up for (I’m looking at you, Elf on the Shelf).
The point is, you can’t just roll on up to Thanksgiving, or the first day of Advent, or December 1st, etc. hoping to remain stress-free and ethereal. You don’t believe me? Go out on Black Friday in search of advent candles and let me know how that works out for you. My guess is within 30 minutes of being “out there” you’ll need a stiff drink and a whole lot of Jesus.
We need November. We need it to be exactly what it is. There are over 3 weeks until Thanksgiving and nearly a month until the start of Advent. Let’s use this time to steel our nerves and batten down the hatches.
I’m not suggesting we borrow next moth’s worries. I don’t want to extend the stress. Instead, I plan on taking the next few weeks to at least attempt to set myself up for something that resembles success.
What you’ll need to do to prepare will depend entirely on what your holiday season looks like. Do you travel out of state, have multiple family parties to attend, is there a newborn in the mix? Are finances tight? Do emotions tend to run high? Reflect on your reality first and then make a plan on how to navigate the stresses.
Next week, I’ll be posting a bit about holiday traditions that you can definitely (well, at least consider) give up. In the meantime, here’s what I’ll do between now and Advent to prepare:
1. Double-check my calendar and make sure all the miscellaneous events, parties, concerts, etc are accounted for.
2. Make a cup of tea and spend some time with a few old cookbooks tagging some old favorites and a recipe or two I might want to try
3. Reflect on the last few years and think about what I wished I would have done/purchased sooner.
4. Schedule hair appointments, babysitters, dog groomer, etc. now
5. Buy Christmas presents for adults (kiddos change their mind this early)
6. Think about which traditions actually brought joy last year and which were just for show
7. Buy the advent candles!!!!!
8. Read the letter I wrote to myself at the end of last Christmas and take note for this year.
9. Remind myself and anyone who will listen that Christmas is a liturgical season and I don’t need to squeeze every tradition into 48 hours.
Maybe you don’t need a list at all? Being intentional and pumping the breaks on holiday madness isn’t about adding more into our weeks. It’s about deciding what we as moms choose to value and prioritize this time of year.
Happy plain, old November!
